Act 1, Scene 1: A Man Walks Into a Bar

TECH PREROLL [EMOJI_TOILET_ROLL]

LX-0099 Work Light OFF (Static Playbacks)

LX-1100 STANDBY for GO:

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Unmute Desk

Puppeteer1: ON

DIALOG

STBY Stage left [1, off]: Olaf

STBY Stage right [7, off]: Ryan, Sergeant, Miller, Brunswick

Zoe on stage [2, 2nd], Robin behind the bar counter [6, 2nd], Patron1 at ClubTable1 [4], Patron4 at ClubTable2 [6], Patron2 and Patron3 in front of the stage.

1101 - Busy Bar
1101 - Music Cue 1

Curtain - open

LX-1101 Lights on, red atmosphere, reddish white as ambience, rose emphasis on guests on first level, slight movements in moving heads; 2nd level left protagonists spot-mh fading from dark to white; 2nd level right dancer spot-mh white

1101 - Open Door

Ryan comes in from [7], looking around, as if to check if there's anyone in here he knows. Nobody. Good.

Ryan sits down at the bar in [5] in front of 2nd playrail.

Robin notices the new patron, and walks over

Robin: "Hi there! Care for a drink?"

Ryan (nods): "A-hmmm."

Robin: "Anything in mind?"

Ryan: "Something strong and cheap. Neat."

Robin smiles.

Robin: "That's all we got. Sounds like you had a rough day, eh?"

Ryan: "More like a rough month."

Robin: "Gotcha. I think I've got just the right thing for you. Hang on, buddy."

Robin gets a green bottle with skull from the shelf behind her.

1103 - Open Bottle

Robin gets a glass, opens the bottle, and pours the liquor

1104 - Pour Drink

Robin leaves the green bottle with skull on the bar counter, walks over to Ryan, and hands him his drink

Robin: "There you go. Enjoy the show. As long as you can still see."

1102 - Music Cue 2

Ryan: "Thanks."

Ryan downs the drink in one fluid motion. Then he sets the glass back onto the bar counter.

Ryan lets out a deep sigh, and relaxes a bit.

Patron2 and Patron3 hold the fishing rod and money up towards Zoe and play with her

Zoe does her routine where she rolls around, meowing, collecting the tips.

Zoe: "Mrrrrrow! Meeeeeow!"

Ryan: "She's pretty cute, what's her name?"

Robin: "That's Zoe. She's one of my residents. So you're into cats?"

Ryan: "Maybe?"

Robin: "If you tip her well, she'll let you lick her paws!"

Ryan: "Hmm hmm."

Robin: "What else brings a wolf like you to Cat City?"

Ryan: "Need to get my mind off some things. And yeah, maybe I'm into cats, got a problem with that?"

Robin: "I don't judge. All creatures welcome."

Ryan: "Another one, please?"

Ryan pushes his glass towards Robin

Robin: "Sure!"

Robin proceeds to pour another glass, then pushes it back to Ryan

Ryan drinks and watches the show

The show goes on for a few more moments. Then suddenly the police burst in.

1105 - Door Open
1103 - Music Cue 3

Sergeant, Miller, Brunswick come in from [7]

Sergeant (shouting): "Alright boys and girls! Los Lobos Police! I'm afraid the party's over for tonight!"

Ryan: "Oh SHIT!"

Ryan dives behind the bar [5, 2nd]

Music stops
LX-1102 Stop movement, fade red to white, and reddish white to warm white (CTO, correct to orange)

Sergeant (shouting): "Everybody line up by the door, and have your ID ready!"

Patrons mutter and grumble, leaving the club towards [7], showing their (invisible) ID cards

Miller and Brunswick guard the door and look at the IDs of every patron, writing them down before letting them go

1104 - Music Cue 4
1102 - Empty Bar

Sergeant: "Hey, you! Yes you, hiding behind the bar counter! Get your ass in line with the others, or I'll put you under arrest!"

Ryan: "I ... uhm ... but I work here!"

Ryan grabs a cloth and starts wiping the bar counter frantically as if that would prove it

Robin: "What?"

Ryan (whispering to Robin): "Help me!"

Zoe jumps off the stage and paces towards the Sergeant, furious

Zoe: "Hey! What kind of shit is this? We're a licensed business! Everyone's on record! We're paying our taxes! You have no right to harass my customers! Do you even have a warrant?"

Sergeant grabs Zoe, twists her arm, hard, pushing her back towards the stage in [2, 2nd]

Zoe shrieks!

Sergeant: "Listen, cat! You and your kind are nothing but bottom feeding maggots. I don't need no fucking warrant to shut you down!"

1105 - Music Cue 5

Robin: "I hate to disagree, but ... no searches or seizures without proper warrant. Fourth amendment."

Ryan is trying hard not to be noticed.

Sergeant: "The fourth amendment can come and kiss my ass if there's probable cause."

1106 - Music Cue 6

Robin: "And there is no 'probable cause'."

Sergeant: "We'll see about that!"

Sergeant uses his handcuffs to tie Zoe's hands to the scratching post (stage / scratch post). She is still facing away from the officer, towards the scratching post.

Sergeant: "Come here ..."

Zoe: "*hiss*"

Sergeant pulls a little plastic bag of catnip from a pocket - it contains a fairly large amount of catnip.

Sergeant: "Now ... if that isn't some probable cause right there."

Robin: "ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?"

Sergeant begins pouring out the catnip (from bag of catnip) all over the stage

Sergeant: "Here kitty kitty! Pspspspspspsps! Have some catnip!"

Sergeant rubs some of the catnip (from bag of catnip) all over Zoe

Zoe: "Keep your fucking paws off me!"

1107 - Music Cue 7

Sergeant takes a step back

Sergeant: "A hooker tied to a stripper pole, covered in drugs? Looks like a serious case of animal trafficking here ..."

Zoe: "I'm not a bloody hooker! I'm a dancer!"

Sergeant: "Oh come on, don't tell me you refuse to make a little money on the side! Everyone does that, right?"

Sergeant grabs Zoe's tail, and pulls it up

Zoe: "Ow! Don't touch me!"

Sergeant pat-pats Zoe's behind with his other paw

Sergeant: "Now that's a fine looking tail. I wonder how many cops got a piece of it before me? Take a good sniff, that'll loosen you up!"

Sergeant shoves the rest of the catnip (from bag of catnip) in Zoe's face

Zoe struggles and hisses, but Sergeant holds her down

Zoe: "I SAID DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME!"

Sergeant: "Offering sexual services to a police officer is a serious offense. And if this isn't an offer then I don't know what is."

1108 - Music Cue 8

Zoe: "FUCK OFF!"

Robin: "If you hurt her, I'm gonna kill you!"

Sergeant: "And now it's no longer just probable cause. Now, it's imminent danger!"

Sergeant pulls out his gun, and points it at Robin

1106 - Cock Gun
1109 - Music Cue 9

Ryan and Robin immediately put their hands behind their heads

Sergeant: "Put your hands behind your head, girl! Because now you're all under arrest!"

Robin: "FUCK YOU!"

1107 -Shoot

Sergeant shoots, but only hits Robin's right ear

A bottle bursts behind Robin on the shelf

Robin: "*shrieks*"

Robin drops to the ground, hiding behind the bar

Ryan also immediately takes cover, hiding behind the bar

Put Ryan's neckerchief over his mouth

Sergeant laughs and puts his gun down

Sergeant: "Miller, Brunswick! Get these punks out of here. I'll take care of this one. I believe this situation calls for a little ... cavity inspection."

1110 - Music Cue 10

Ryan neckerchief over his face, suddenly appears from behind the bar, brandishing his cell phone like a crucifix. He slowly but surely walks towards Sergeant in [2].

1111 - Music Cue 11

Ryan: "What's up everybody! I am the Masked Avenger, welcome to my twitch stream! I am at the All Cats Are Beautiful bar in the Cat City district of Los Lobos, witnessing an unlawful, racially motivated raid! A police officer, badge number 2-4-6-0-1, is threatening one of the performers with sexual assault. Sergeant, is there anything you want to say to my viewers?"

1112 - Music Cue 12

Sergeant: "Shut that thing down before I shut **you** down."

Ryan: "Sir, I will stand back if you want me to, but you have no right to shut me down. I'm filming to protect these people's civil rights guaranteed by our constitution!"

Sergeant sighs, and holsters his gun.

Sergeant (playing nice): "Oh, you know, this is all a big misunderstanding. We're just doing a routine inspection. The lady on the pole was like this when we came in. It's part of the show. It's ... this kind of show, you know?"

Robin peers over the edge of the bar counter [5, 2nd], holding up a big binder of files

Robin: "If you want to see the papers - it's all in here. Liquor license, Taxes, everything!"

Sergeant takes the binder, and randomly browses through it without really looking

Sergeant: "Hmm ... yup ... yup ... okay ... yes, all there. Thank you ma'am."

Ryan: "Okay. Is anyone being detained, or are we free to go?"

Sergeant: "No, no, everything's fine here. Thank you for your cooperation. Have a nice evening."

Sergeant walks out to [7]

Miller, Brunswick follow Sergeant out to [7]

1108 - Slam Door
1113 - Music Cue 13

Robin jumps out, runs over to Zoe

Ryan begins to shiver and hyperventilate, now that the adrenaline rush is over, pulling off his neckerchief

Ryan: "Fuck ... fuck ... fuck ... fuck ..."

Ryan staggers behind the bar, grabs the green bottle with skull [5, 2nd], and takes a good number of gulps then collapses on the bar counter, in shock

Zoe (crying): "What a fucking asshole ..."

Robin hugs and comforts Zoe

Robin: "I can't believe he did that to you ... I'll call Olaf and we'll get you off this pole real quick."

Robin makes a call on her mobile phone

Robin: "Hey, Olaf. Could you come upstairs real quick and bring the bolt cutters? We got a situation here. Thanks."

Robin puts the mobile phone away

Robin: "He's is on his way."

Zoe: "Where did the wolf go?"

Robin: "No Idea. You want me to find him?"

Zoe: "Yes please. That guy's a hero."

Robin stands up and walks behind the bar to [5, 2nd].

Robin (while walking): "Hey! Wolf!"

Ryan (sobbing slightly): "Ryan ... name's Ryan."

Music Cue 14

Robin: "Hi, I'm Robin. And you just single-handedly saved our asses."

Ryan: "I'm so fucked. So fucking fucked. I mean, I was fucked before I came here, but now ... fucked to infinity."

1109 - Open Door

Olaf comes in from [1], holding a giant pair of bolt cutters

Olaf (singing the theme from mission impossible): "Dun dun dun dun dun dun ... On your last piece of toilet paper? Stage light's blowing sparks? Stuck your nuts in a vice? Then it's time for - FACILITY-MAAAAAAAN- ... -ager."

Olaf realizes he misread the room completely

Olaf: "Hot damn, what the hell happened?"

Zoe: "Hey Olaf, could you get these handcuffs off of me?"

Olaf: "Sure! How did you end up like this, did a customer run away with the key?"

Robin follows Olaf to the stage [2]

Ryan gets up, and slowly stumbles towards the stage [3]

Robin: "We got raided by the cops again. But this time shit hit the fan real hard."

Olaf: "What, again? That's like ... the third time this month?"

Robin: "Yeah, you can't make this up ..."

Olaf: "Okay, hold still for a moment ..."

Olaf snips off the handcuffs like they're children's toys

Ryan: "Zoe? That's your name, right? Are you okay?"

Zoe: "That ... that, was the bravest thing I've ever seen."

1116 - Music Cue 16

Zoe hugs an entirely unprepared Ryan, then recoils, sniffing the air

Zoe (repulsed): "Oh my god you smell like a wet dog ..."

Ryan: "Sorry, last shower's been a few ..."

Zoe: "Oh well, I don't care!"

Zoe hugs Ryan again

Zoe licks Ryan's face (a cat kiss)

Ryan (petrified): "Help."

Zoe: "*lick* *purr* *lick* *purr*"

Robin: "Say ... Ryan ... Did ... did you really stream all this?"

1117 - Music Cue 17

Ryan: "No. Phone's been dead for days. Can't believe he fell for it."

Zoe releases Ryan from her death grip and laughs out loud

Robin: "This could have gone wrong in a million ways ..."

Robin hesitates and takes a closer look at Ryan

Robin: "Do I know you? You look familiar ..."

Ryan: "Uh, no ... all wolves sort of look alike ..."

Zoe: "Yeah! Tell me who you are, my knight in smelly armor!"

1118 - Music Cue 18

Ryan: "Uh, who am I? Good question. Kinda no-one, really. Had a very tough breakup. Lost my job. Had to get away from it all. Got in my car, hit the gas, everything's a blur. I'm just ... in a really bad place. I mean mentally. Your place here is really nice."

Zoe: "Any idea where you'll be staying tonight?"

Ryan: "In my car."

Zoe: "Nope! Motion rejected! That kind of housing is not fit for a hero! I've got a room upstairs. And I want to get to know the wolf who saved me."

Ryan: "I'm not a lot of fun right now."

Robin (catty): "I thought you were into cats?"

Zoe: "Oh yeah, and after what you did today, you deserve a little pu-"

Ryan (interrupting): "Don't say it!"

Zoe (laughing): "I think there's a handsome guy hidden under all this grime."

Ryan: "Thanks. I think I'll sleep on the floor though."

Zoe: "Huh! Dogs ..."

1119 - Music Cue 19

LX-0099 Lights out

Curtain - close

LX-0099 Work Light ON

Zoe hands her microphone to Haku for scene 1-2

Lynard hands his microphone to Rangarig for scene 1-2