AMB-01 Industrial Ambience- Stage: THX Headquarters
- Setting: Red flag with white circle and a black musical note in it, golden records at the wall. Members of the organization wear black coats with red arm bands
- Section: A, B
- Puppets: The Producer (Fairlight), Servant (Lynard), Minion 1 (Eisfuchs), Minion 2 (Tani), Minion 3 (Tigerseye), Britney (Tani)
- Props: huge throne in section B, red arm bands for minions, spear and heart (Zefiro), MICROPHONE FOR MINION 3 (Tigerseye)
- Music:
- SFX:
AMB-01 Industrial Ambience
The Producer sits on a throne
0201 - Door opens
Servant comes in from A, running to the throne
Servant: "My Producer! My Producer! You called for me?"
Servant kneels before the throne
Producer: "Yes! The meeting is due. Send in the Digital Rights Managers! At once!"
Servant: "Ja, my Producer! Of course, my Producer! I'll get them for you!"
Servant runs out.
2002 - Minions Fanfare + Entry
Three faceless minions come in
The servant runs back to the throne
Music Ends
Minions: "At your service, oh mighty Producer!"
Producer: "Very well. Gentlemen, I have called you to this special meeting, because I am deeply disappointed. I have just read the latest sales report. Our profit has increased by fifty percent, and this is way below the expectations for this quarter. I find this lack of growth ... disturbing. How do you expect me to explain this to our shareholders?"
Minion 1: "My Producer, we - um - perhaps - well - we are still doing a lot of research in this field, and it seems, people have become strangely inspired lately."
Producer: "Strangely inspired, you say? That's hard to believe. What do you have to back up your claim?"
Minion 2: "My numbers indicate that a lot of people are singing unlicenced material under the shower!"
Minion 3: "And I just received a report of incidences of children in kindergardens being taught public domain nursery songs. Officially! By their teachers! Now imagine that!"
Minion 1: "Disgusting! What's next? Teachers giving away mp3 files in their classroom?"
0203 - Klaxon
police lights
All look at Minion 1
Producer: "Don't you dare speak the forbidden word!"
Minion 1 (timid): "Which one? mp3?"
0203 - Klaxon
police lights
Producer: "Idiot! Don't say this again! You know what the punishment is!"
Minion 1 (timid): "Ja, my producer! I thought that rule excludes members of the corporation."
Producer (shouts): "Silence, you fool!"
Minion 1 cowers down.
Producer: "What was I about to say? Ah, yes ... It seems, that the power of inspiration is on the rise again. This development has always been my deepest concern. All sources of inspiration are under our control ... I don't understand how this can be. Something must have happened! Perhaps the rumours are true. But no matter what, we must take action, quickly. Firstly, about the people singing under the shower: Call our legal department. We must exert our influence in establishing new international copyright laws that will allow us to demand compensation from the manufacturers of bathroom equipment."
Minion 2: "Brilliant idea, My Producer!"
Minion 2 leaves to section A
Producer: "Then about the children. We must increase our presence in schools and kindergartens, teaching them, that singing public domain songs means depriving hard working artists from their God-given right to profit! We must educate them that licensing is good, and that sharing is evil!"
Minion 3: "As you command, my Producer!"
Minion 3 leaves to section A
The Producer looks at Minion 1
Producer: "Okay, now what are we going to do with you? What do you suggest in order to redeem yourself?"
Minion 1: "I beg your forgiveness, my Producer! I didn't mean to cause any harm. Please, have mercy! I only said ... mp ... uh ... that word two times ... and ... and ..."
Producer: "Yes ... and?"
Minion 1: "And ... and I promise, I will never say mp3 again!"
0203 - Klaxon
police lights
Minion 1: "Aaaah!"
Producer: "Okay, that's enough! Three times! Your behaviour is intolerable! You shall receive your punishment!"
Minion 1: "NO!"
Servant: "What is your verdict, my Producer?"
Producer: "The punishment for saying the forbidden word is: Death by Britney's Spear!"
Minion 1 (crying): "No! Not that! Please!"
Servant: "What a just decision, my Producer."
Producer (shouts): "BRITNEY!"
0204 - Britney Spears intro & Elephant Stomping
Britney enters the stage from section A
Britney (cheerfully): "Ja, my Producer!"
Producer: "Kill him!"
Britney (cheerfully): "My pleasure, my Producer!"
Stagehand (Zefiro) supports Britney with the spear and heart
Britney screams and impales Minion 1
0205 - Splurt & Oops I did it again!
Minion 1: "Aaaaaarrgh!"
Britney dances to the song and leaves the stage to section A
Servant giggles
back to techno music
Producer: "Argh ... Despicable. Do we really sell this kind of music?"
Servant: "Yes, we do. And actually, it's quite successful! I even got it as mp ... I mean, Windows Media ... yeah. Windows Media."
The Producer growls at the servant
0206 - Door
Minion 2 re-enters
Minion 2: "My Producer! My Producer! We have tapped into a phone call from the Museum of Forgotten Arts in Egypt. We finally have the proof that your theory is true. The document really exists, and the old lion's son is already on his way to claim his inheritage!"
Producer: "Hm ... right on queue! So Mr. Scruffycat Senior really found it. Remarkable. And now he's trying to pass it on to his son. I always knew he couldn't keep a secret to himself. Too bad for him. Good for us, though. Send two of our best men to Cairo and get it, before he does! It's the key to gaining control over all music on this planet, and we must not miss this opportunity."
Minion 2: "Ja, my Producer!"
Minion 2 leaves the stage to section A
Producer: "Christopher Scruffycat! You have tried to cross my plans so many times, but not this time! When all this is over, I will be the richest man in the world!"
Producer (cynical): "Thank you, old lion! I wouldn't have made it without you! Bwahahaaa!"
Light out
Producer and Servant laugh